A Near Miss
by Tsukishiro-chan
Summary: 'Things were going badly. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Kakei hadn't warned them about anything like this...' Rikuo's thoughts on almost losing Kazahaya. Rikuo inner monologue.


Things were going badly.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Kakei hadn't warned them about anything like this.

It was supposed to be a routine job. Guess hitsuzen had different plans. All Rikuo could do now was hope that Kakei would see them now and come to help. He glanced down at the limp and barely breathing Kazahaya, hoping for a little sign of recovery, but something had hit him hard. Not physically, but invisibly. Now the boy was all but dead and Rikuo had no way of helping him.

Gathering him into his strong arms, Rikuo held him to his chest, surprised at the lightness of the limp frame. Pressing his forehead to Kazahaya's, he willed him to wake, then began walking. He wasn't sure where he was, nor how long he had sat holding Kazahaya out of the dirt. He thought to himself that this was typical of Kudo, damsel in distress, the little innocent that he was.

Rikuo tried to pass off the seriousness, but the all too real prospect of Kazahaya not making it through this one by was worrying him. Chastising the boy and telling him what an idiot he was for jumping in front of Rikuo like he did. How foolish it was for him to keep moving toward the strange presence he kept insisting he felt. He chided and teased him for his innocence, trying to tempt him back from the brink with taunts and jibes.  
Eventually, Rikuo reached a river, its flow strong and constant. He made his way to the bank, careful not to slip or jolt his passenger. He stood for a moment, considering the breadth of water before him, he recalled Kazahaya's inability to swim and teased him for that too. The weight growing heavier in his tiring arms, Rikuo lowered Kudo to the bank, laying him down on a relatively dry patch grass. He sat behind him, and brought his head into his lap, keeping it off the damp grass.

Taking off his jacket he draped it over Kazahaya's reclining figure and, instinctively, stroked his hair. Rikuo didn't even consider his actions. He sat on the bank, Kazahaya's head on his lap, stroking his hair as he watched the river flow on by.  
Rikuo reflected on the past months, since he had instinctively picked up that desperate figure in the snow. To his surprise, Rikuo had found himself distracted by the new addition to the shop. First, he was frustrated that another person was caught up in his business, and completely useless as a housemate, but this soon passed as he got to know Kazahaya Kudo. The boy was completely naïve, an unlikely thing in the Green Drugstore. His sharp tongue and short temper excited Rikuo to provocation and teasing. The reactions he received only fueling his efforts to dishevel the innocent boy.

After the incidents at the high school, Rikuo had found himself thinking more seriously of Kazahaya. The naivety of Kudo while there had opened his eyes to the extent of his innocence had awakened something in Rikuo. The admiration of the other boys at the school had roused an alarming jealousy in Rikuo which he had failed to forget. Looking down at the light hair entangled in his long fingers, Rikuo felt a strong affection rise in him for his workmate, his friend, his love? He blinked at the last thought.

Could he really be harboring affections for this naïve boy?

Kazahaya's chest was barely rising in breath now; he was pale and getting colder by the minute. Rikuo shook his head at himself. Even if he was getting his feelings right, even if Kazahaya survived this, would he even respond to Rikuo's feelings? Having never been exposed to the world, he had enough trouble dealing with a school, let alone a school full of horny boys. Frowning, Rikuo took Kazahaya's upside down face in his hands and called him an idiot, once again. There was no response, but there was a shout from the other side of the river. Rikuo's head shot up and saw Saiga casually waving from the other bank, grinning smugly as he did so. In moments he had rowed a little boat across and collected the two boys.

Saiga said nothing as he examined Kudo's limp body. He didn't even joke about their positions. Kakei hurried over with a small medical kit and looked over Kudo as well. Eventually, the questions started and Rikuo tried to give an accurate account of the events leading up to Kazahaya's injury. Kudo was bundled up and loaded into a car, and then the group made their way back to the Green Drugstore.

The entire trip home, Rikuo struggled internally with his identity. His feelings were a complete revelation to him. The teasing, the rescuing, and the companionship he felt with Kazahaya. It all pointed to a relationship forming between them. He found himself thinking lustfully of Kudo. The innocent Kudo Kazahaya, it felt good to think of him like that, so untouched by the predators of the world. It made Rikuo burn inside when he looked at the unconscious figure of his thoughts. Regret began its terrible way into his mind, why had he only thought of this now? While Kudo looked so close to death. Would he ever get the chance to speak to him again? Let alone tell him how he felt. Another failure to add to his list he thought.

Carefully, Kazahaya looking so fragile, he ran his fingers through the light hair again, little thrills of pleasure and pain running up his arm.  
Kazahaya stirred a little as he stroked, Rikuo quickly removed his fingers, afraid of the consequences of being found out for now he had something to lose.

Kudo was carefully placed in his own bed, tucked in tightly, pillows piled under his head. All they could do was wait until he woke of his own accord. Kakei placed a warm cloth on his forehead and instructed Rikuo to keep an eye on him, change the cloth when it got cold, and to rest as much as he could between those two jobs. Nodding solemnly, Rikuo sat himself across from Kazahaya and continued his thoughts of his identity.

Really, the only thing stopping the attraction coming to fruition was the fact that they were both boys. And it shouldn't really have been a problem, since the shop was owned and run by a gay couple anyway. Rikuo frowned down at Kazahaya. He had never really considered his own sexuality before. Sure, he had been ruthless when he picked on Kazahaya's innocence, but he hadn't expected to be so riled up by the shorter boy's resistance.

Rikuo's frown grew deeper as he said the word out loud, resistance. It resounded with something deep inside Rikuo. When had Rikuo ever come up against resistance before Kazahaya fell into his life? As the schoolgirls who often crowded the drugstore proved, he had never really had problems getting attention from girls, and he had soon learned to ignore the looks of admiration or jealousy he got from many members of the public when he was out. And no one had really said no to the tall, dark, brooding and muscled Rikuo.

Except Kazahaya.

As he thought it, Rikuo felt like he had worked something out. He looked grimly down at the pale body in the bed, the only one who actively and vehemently opposed Rikuo. Who didn't back down or take just any shit from the larger boy. He was an anomaly with no fear of the taller boy, except when his personal space was invaded.

Kazahaya just wouldn't be Kazahaya if he didn't stand up to him, he wouldn't be the same if he wasn't naïve and innocent. Rikuo shook his head in confusion as he peeled the cloth off of Kudo's forehead and went to warm it up.

As he ran the cloth under the warm water he glanced back at the reclining figure on the bed. A little colour was returning to his delicate face and Rikuo could see his chest rising and falling from where he stood across the room. A part of Rikuo sighed in relief as it appeared that Kazahaya was going to be okay.

He wondered what he would say when he woke up. Should he tease him for being such a damsel in distress and pass the whole thing off, continue as per usual? Or should he tell him how relieved he was? That he's glad he's okay. Kazahaya would probably attack him or not believe him at all. Rikuo found himself a little regretful of the way in which he had caused Kazahaya to be so suspicious of him.

Brushing a strand of hair from Kudo's face, Rikuo leaned closer to his roommate, listening to him breathe, tasting the scent of his breath and still slightly damp hair. He couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to kiss him. To feel the soft fullness of Kazahaya's lips before being pushed away in embarrassment, or disgust.

Rikuo didn't think that Kudo would judge him for the action, or reject him completely; in fact, it would probably encourage him to look at his own sexuality. He would just be suspicious of Rikuo, think of it as a joke and get angry at him, taking it as a jibe at his own innocence.

Rikuo smirked as he imagined the confusion Kazahaya would show if they did kiss. It was almost worth doing just for the reaction.

The idea was starting to intoxicate Rikuo.

Kazahaya's lips were slightly parted as he breathed deeply in his now peaceful sleep. Little beads of water had gathered on his eyelashes, such long eyelashes. His face was peaceful and softened by sleep. His hand rested on his chest, just above his heart, as if feeling its soft beating.

Rikuo laid his hand on top of his, fingers slowly curling around and encasing it, warming it. He leant forward and put his head on the edge of the bed, frustrated at the turn his thoughts had taken.

Kazahaya wasn't just some girl who would be flattered by his attention, eager to be loved by him. He was a fiery young man, full of defiance and insecurities.

Kazahaya coughed lightly in his sleep and Rikuo's head jerked up as he tore his hand away, afraid of being caught.

He relaxed as Kudo showed no signs of waking up. He took the cloth away from his forehead and lay his hand down in its place, the slight dampness making the surface slick and warm. A couple of hairs stuck to the moisture so Rikuo smoothed them back, slowly running his fingers through Kazahaya's hair as he did so.

It was so soft and silky, even in its slightly wet state. Kazahaya sighed in his sleep as Rikuo untangled his fingers.

Rikuo swallowed nervously. His heart rate had increased and he could feel his face getting a little hot as he slowly leaned towards Kazahaya.

He took a breath and in one swift and gentle movement he pressed his lips down onto Kazahaya's for one brief, heart stopping, tantalizing moment. He could taste his breath mingling with the mild taste of his. The softness of his lips molding themselves around his own as he pressed ever so gently against them.

He drew back a little, slightly disappointed, but mostly relieved that Kudo's eyes remained closed. He sighed and sat up, running a hand through his hair as he grimaced at what he'd just done.

He could hardly believe that a couple of hours ago he had felt almost completely platonic towards the slight boy in front of him. He tucked the blankets around Kazahaya more securely as he got up to lie down on his own bed across the room. He kicked off his shoes and changed his clothes for a jumper and tracksuit pants, then slipped under the covers, lying on his side so he could watch Kazahaya from where he was.

His lips still tingled a little as he fell asleep, giving in to the physical and emotional exhaustion plaguing him. It seemed as if he had been sleeping for no more than five minutes when a great spluttering and coughing tore him awake.

Throwing himself out of bed Rikuo launched himself across the room to the now awake Kazahaya. His body convulsed as he coughed and sat up, looking around blearily as he took in his surroundings. Rikuo grabbed one of his hands and placed a glass of water in it, careful to make sure he wouldn't drop it all over himself.

Kudo gulped down the water, looking relieved as he did so, his body eventually stopping its spasms and relaxing. Rikuo watched him calm down, his face stoic, but his insides roiling. Rikuo took the empty glass from Kudo's unresisting hand, his fingers lightly brushing his as he did so. He glanced at Kazahaya's face, but perceived no reaction at the slight touch; instead he had a faraway look on his face as he stared into space.

Rikuo watched him until he broke out of the trance he seemed to be in, then Kazahaya turned and frowned at him, confused and slightly defensive. Rikuo smirked and was rewarded with a barrage of abuse as Kazahaya took offense. Satisfied that Kudo was okay for now, he got up and returned to his own bed, now a little cold, and lay down facing away from Kudo.

He listened as Kazahaya got out of bed and got another glass of water from the kitchen, and then sighed as he heard the shower start, images of Kazahaya undressing rising unbidden to his mind's eye. He grinned wolfishly as he imagined how Kudo's surprised face would look if he was to sneak up on him in the bathroom, wondering how long he could wait until he noticed he was there. Would his animal instincts catch him right away or would he be partially undressed before that? Maybe even fully undressed, seeing as his guard would be down.

Rikuo laughed as his own imagination. It was ridiculous to even think about that kind of thing. Kazahaya was too naïve to interpret anything like that as a show of affection or attraction, it could only end in defensiveness.

One day, Rikuo thought, one day he would show Kazahaya what was beyond his innocence. He would introduce him slowly, gently to the idea of a relationship, surely spending more time with Saiga and Kakei, who were so openly in a relationship, could only encourage Kazahaya to open himself up to new possibilities.

Rikuo closed his eyes and pulled his blankets up tightly around himself as he got comfortable, looking forward to the awkward gratitude he would get from Kudo in the morning. He always said thank you after being rescued, and that in itself was enough for Rikuo, even if he just acted the jerk back at Kazahaya.

Kazahaya came back into the room, muttering under his breath about Rikuo, damning himself for getting in trouble again and bemoaning the fact that his pay would probably be docked for it. Rikuo could feel the other boy's eyes on his back as he tried to feign sleep, not eager to enter any conflict now.

Kazahaya stood in the middle of the room and looked down on Rikuo's seemingly asleep form, a slight frown on his face. His lips prickled a little as he stared down at him, a confused memory of a dream dancing behind his eyes. He almost took a step towards Rikuo's bed, but changed his mind and retreated to his own bed, still feeling a little weak from whatever had attacked him earlier that day.

After a moment of hesitation, Rikuo spoke into the stillness of the room.

"Kazahaya?"

"What?"

"I'm… I'm glad you didn't die."

"Wha-? Oh... Uh... Yeah, I guess. Um, Thanks."

"Goodnight."

"Oh… N-Night. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow."

CLAMPCLAMPCLAMP

So... What do you think? *nervous* My last Legal Drug (Drug and Drop) story got a slightly negative response so... I'm a little worried.

I feel like I got Rikuo's character just right though, he speaks to me. :3

I was tempted to venture into the realms of sexiness, but I resisted, it's just too hard to reconcile Kazahaya's vehement refusal of anything sexual within a less then 20 million word count. (He's too... Kazahaya)

Anyway, I have a bit of trouble inserting dialogue into pieces like this, so I thought it would be more effective at the end maybe? Kazahaya's almost dead for most of it anyway, and I don't think Rikuo would really talk to himself out loud.

I'm almost thinking about continuing this one, just coz Rikuo and I get along so well...

Let me know if you want more of this, there are always my other stories, (shameless plug) but I might have a go at a sequel for this one. Summer holidays are coming so I'll have time to write more often.

Thanks~!


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